It's a question they warned us about. It's a question we practiced answering. It's a question I really do get asked nearly every time Dash and I are out and about.
Can I pet your dog?
And the answer is no. Or yes. Or yes, but under a few conditions. It's complicated.
The reason it is so important to always ask before petting a service dog is that he is working. "Working," in a dog's case, means he is striving as hard as he can to listen to his handler - and only his handler - in order to perform the tasks asked of him. So, even when a dog appears to be just sleeping by his handler's side, he is actually in a down command, waiting for whatever might come next. When people other than the handler pay the dog any type of attention - from petting to puppy talk (baby talk for dogs!) to something as seemingly harmless as prolonged eye-contact (resist the power of the puppy eyes!), the dog's focus and attention on his handler is at risk.
For this reason, every time I am asked this seemingly simple question, my mind races as I assess the situation before answering. I am taking into account things such as:
• Dash's current state. Is he in an easily excitable mood? Is he overwhelmed or tired? Or is he on his best behavior, ready to obey and respond only to me?
• The atmosphere around us. Is it crowded and loud? Quiet and more intimate?
• The person who is asking. And how many people are around who also might want to get in on the puppy petting action.
• Whether or not I am in the mood/have the time to let someone pet my dog, which almost always leads to further conversation. (Just being honest!)
It's a simple sort of checklist but the answers to these questions are a combination of simple assessment and personal discression.
If Dash is not in a state where he could handle getting extra attention without breaking a command or getting excited, the answer is no.
If we are amidst a crowd or in a loud place, I know Dash is already working to keep his attention on me and mind his manners. The answer is no.
If the person asking seems overly excited, I know Dash might pick up on this and get excited as well. In this case, the answer is no or yes, but with some guidelines. In cases like this I might attempt to diffuse some of the excitement by asking for the person to wait until Dash sits down and to please stop petting him if he breaks his sit. This works most of the time!
But, if Dash is focused, we are in a nice environment, and someone politely asks to pet him, I'm fairly likely to say yes. I know he's adorable and hard to resist! And it gives me an opportunity to share about Canine Companions for Independence, Dash's training, and how he is such a great help to me.
I also say yes to children almost without fail. That's why I couldn't resist when a darling girl and her daddy asked to pet Dash in BJs yesterday. I explained to them how Dash can pick things up for me, turn the lights on and off, open doors, and - what seemed to be most impressive in this case - how he only barks on command! What really made my day, though, was when that little girl's mama joined our conversation, her daughter was able to explain all of Dash's talents! Children are great at spreading the word about service dogs, and I've been impressed at the number of them that already have an understanding of a working dog.
All that to say, I'm honored when people ask to pet Dash. I myself am tempted to drop what I'm doing on occasion just to give him some lovin' (and I do!). I wish I could say yes to people every single time. But I also love what Dash is able to do for me, and if saying no to people means keeping his focus, so be it.
